Spiritual quenching....

Are you like me.. someone who doesn't quite know what they believe in or questions every idea out there? The past ten years have been a dabble of what I call spiritual quenching. Not too sure which direction I wanted to take, but knew there was more out there than any man or thing could provide.

From my very own rose garden!

More recently, I have been hungry for it. Thinking back at the past years, and realizing there are certain beliefs that have caught my attention for more than a day. Born and raised Catholic, this has been my roots and what all answers and expressions come from.

The Law of Attraction and Karma has caught most of my interest in the past years. It seems so simple, yet so difficult. It all makes sense to me and I feel as if my life is a reflection of what I have unintentionally felt it to be. I struggled with making this work towards what I desired. I found it incredibly hard to change my thoughts and inner voice . Sure, I could do the wishful thinking part all day long, which would get me nowhere if i couldn't FEEL well about it.

photo: www.atlantisqueen.com

It wasn't until I came across the law of Karma, that I truly understood how the concept worked. I realized that my own feelings deep with in are what has prevented my happiness. I couldn't help but list off all the negative feelings I had towards other people . That was it. The feelings I had was affecting my direction of a better life.
Anger. 
Resentment. 
Jealousy. 
Defensive. 
Lack of courage.

Not accepting my own demons for what they are, also prevented me from feeling good. I needed to come to terms with "what I've got, what I am not and who I am"~Jason Mraz.... God, I love that song!

According to my yearly horoscope, which I tend to take very lightly, I am suppose to have a year of transformation... like a butterfly or phoenix. Honestly, this is the first time I would agree. So far, this year has been about strength and shedding all that is negative and I am finally realizing.

Big things for me this year are....

Karma Time Integrity

The only missing connection I have is how do I connect this what I have been taught? Where does God and Jesus fit into all of this?

Live stronger

Recently I have started a journey towards a new lifestyle. It has taken me many years to get to the weight that I am today and I can say it has been the heaviest I have ever been. I know that I have been through two pregnancies and I just had a baby 7 months ago, but that is no excuse to let myself go. If I honestly worked out and ate right it wouldn't concern me, but I have done neither. I want to be around for my children and I want to teach them healthy lifestyles.

With all this downer shit said... I have been on this new road for about two weeks now. I have only lost three pounds and I am still struggling with making the right food choices... but I am a work in progress and the fact that I have kept it up this long is enough for me. Day by day, right?

I think what I have been most impressed about is how determined and persistent I have been. I never thought I could run 20 minutes straight and I defied that thought with in days. I am more then I thought I could or would be and that only gives me more confidence that someday, down this long road, I will be where I want to be with my body and my health! I made this change not as a diet but a change in lifestyle, which I know will take longer then I have patience for.



I guess, I just keep imagining my ideal body a year or two down the road, because I know once I get there I will not regret a single workout or meal choice!

I have found a great website Livestrong.com that has helped me track my weight loss, calories and workouts!! It really been helpful and I suggest you sign up for the free profile. I also have the app on my windows 7 phone so I can track my calories through out the day with ease!!!

If you do join, make sure to become my friend (k_delarosa) and we can be cheerleaders to each other!!!