What a transformative journey the past year has been. I saw a funny post on Facebook the other day about the 2 different types of people to emerge from quarantine. One was the mom who indulged herself to get her through the madness and chaos of being stuck at home for months with her family. This person had packed on pandemic weight. The second type became a go-getter and learned a new skill, focused on health, and decided to turn this time into something productive. I was both of these “types”.
At the very beginning, I took the first month to just lay low and let go. I needed it. I needed to have my schedule be completely free and finally start to reconnect with my family and let go of the stress of all the overextending I had been doing for the past 6 years. It was wonderful! But then, it led me down some really deep and shadowy areas of myself that really needed to be confronted.
I faced a lot of my demons during this time. The pandemic had forced me to come to a stop before I had hit that brick wall. Without making light of our current state and the suffering of many, the pandemic was my grace.
I was able to let go of the things that no longer served me. This was torture as so many emotions flooded my mind with things like guilt, sadness, loss, grieving, anger, self pity, and lots of self-doubts. I prayed and prayed but the path was crystal clear and doing the hard things that I know I needed to do was my only option to avoid the brick wall.
I CAN DO HARD THINGS
Once the bandaid was ripped, grace shined upon me to comfort me in the right decisions. But, I knew that this too would be for a brief moment and then the serpents would come out of the cracks to continue to pick away my worth and make it all the more challenging.
This time I wouldn’t go back. I would push through, knowing my worth. I would not let lies and manipulation penetrate my mind. I was Free.
I am a good person. I am dedicated and giving to others without return. Sometimes that generosity can be used against you.
After the first two months of recharging and discovery, I made a vow that I would get to work on other areas of my life. I became the person that was going to be productive and put to use the time I had. I was going to work on ME.
Today, 7 months later, I am now down 35 pounds and on my way to healing my body from the damage the last 20 years of bad habits and unhealthy lifestyle choices have caused. I've also finished my real estate education and passed my real estate broker licensing exam! This has been something I’ve wanted to do for the past 16 years. It’s interesting to see how God’s timing is always the right timing. I’m such a different person than I was 16 years ago and had I become a real estate agent then, I probably would have failed. I didn’t have the self-confidence and discipline that I have today. That dream would have quickly fizzled out leaving me in more self-doubt. Trust in His plan for you.
Which type of quarantine person are you? What have you done this year to work on you?